Part 1
The Hatch Continued...
"When you're alone
And life is making you lonely
you can always go down town.
When you got worries,
All the noise and the hurry
seems to help,
I know down town.
Just listen to the music
Of the traffic in the city,
linger on the sidewalks
Where the neon signs are pretty.
How can you lose?
The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles,
Forget all your cares.
So go down town.
Things'll be great
When you're down town.
No finer place for sure-
Down town.
Everything's waiting for you
Down town...down town...."
The song is being played as I regain my consciousness slowly but sure. It's all blurred out at first, then I could see things clearly...the lamp at the ceiling, an old television in front of me, electricity.....suddenly I wake up as I realize where was I the last time before I passed out. I'm panic as I realize that both my hands are tied up behind me, I look around there they are...my friends Anne-Marie, McKayla and Ansley, all tied up like I am right now. As for Kathrine, she's still unconscious not that far away from me. I feel bad for her, she doesn't have to experience all these things. A girl of her age should be at home study or play around instead of deserted on an unknown island! I study the room carefully then I notice a couple of things that exist besides electricity. There are food, water, medical supplies and gun!!! I should have known that nothing good comes from a gun, and I didn't know back then that I have to learn it the hard way! Suddenly I heard footsteps approaching us, then I look at that man, a muscular one, he must be the one who has taken us captives. I thought he was gonna do something bad to me, but it turns out he greets me by calling me "Exotic Lady". I ask him immediately for his identity, what he was doing down here in a bunker or something, and what the heck is this place. I kinda expect that he would say that he's trying to cover the "truth" from me but it turns out he explains EVERYTHING about who he is, what is this place and what he is doing down here for all this time. His name is Raymond Hume, he was a British Soldier before he was recruited by this mysterious organization called "Dharma Initiative". And the rest of his explanation is blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...I don't pay attention anymore as my eyes are admiring this "cool" place. Under different circumstances, I would love for this kind of discovery but being tied up like this it's not a fun experience. I ask him to untie us, and he just does that as long as we behave like decent ladies. He can't take his eyes off me while untying us, it looks like he's impressed with my "exotic" skin, and being all alone down here by himself, I wouldn't be surprised that he'd be interested for a company, too bad my heart is taken and I don't find him that attractive. A couple of moments later, Kathrine who woke up already asks Raymond to share his food & water with her innocent look. And the unexpected happens, Raymond decided to share all his supplies down here with us and the other survivors at the beach, and in exchange, he would love for us to come visit him once in a while so that he wouldn't be bored and lonely anymore. That's a deal I guess since it doesn't take more than a second for Kathrine when she starts to grab all the foods and drinks.
Things was pretty hectic at first as we showed up at the beach with all the foods, drinks and medical supplies. Questions started to attack us from all directions, lucky for us, Anne-Marie is pretty good playing with words or should I say "lying". I guess there's the reason why we chose her to be the leader of our team, since she has that leadership ability inside her. I set up a dining table which Anne-Marie built for us before, and we started to have dinner together. I even invite Mrs. Dunn, Charlie Vargas and Emme Parison to our table, Mrs. Dunn has always being so kind to me, and she's like this mother figure for me on the island. Emme is the fun type of girl, with her around you, you wouldn't miss any single gossip among the survivors. And for Charlie...she helps me a lot lately with the "morning sickness" that I have. We talk about a lot of stuff, from girl stuff like first crush, first kiss and first "woohoo" but I try to remain silent all the time when it gets personal for I don't want the others to find out the "truth" about me, that I'm not what I seem to be. Kathrine always calling me as "Angel from the Sky"....if only she knew the "truth" about me...about what I have done before the crash, she might not call me by that nickname anymore. And then our conversation goes to our plan of being saved or out of this island. Ansley suggests that we should use a lot stones and make "S.O.S" sign on the beach so that the rescuers might see us from above. Then McKayla came up with this brilliant idea...building a raft. And Anne-Marie tells us that she's the one who's going to build it for us. It was a fun dinner...but I would have never known that it would be our LAST DINNER together...........for later 2 good friends of mine in my team will be "LOST" forever!!!
Part 2
The Others
The other night, I was sleeping in my tent when I heard screams, shouts and fightings from all around the beach. And suddenly there's a hand covering my mouth, I open my eyes and there he is....Joshua Santos!!! The PhD student, he tries to drag me out of my tent. I scream but his hand was covering my mouth, I kick his balls, he shouts then he slaps me hard TWICE until my lips are bleeding. Then I see fire.....and dead corpses everywhere....I don't know what is happening, I just want to see familiar faces so I decided to run but Joshua hits my temple from behind, and that was the last thing I remember before I passed out.
Slowly, I regain my conscious ( again! I don't how many times have I been unconscious since the crash ) as I hear the voices of Koi and Uldrich who are questioning Joshua about the whereabouts of the kidnapped ones. I was sleeping on Mrs. Dunn's thighs, I feel ashamed, I'm afraid that I'm such a big burden for her here on the island, but she doesn't seem mind with me being a burden to her. Sometimes I wish that I had a mother like Mrs. Dunn but that would be impossible. Then I see Anne-Marie, thanks God she's okay but she doesn't seem that happy. Later I find out the horrible news that the people whom they call as "The Others" attacked us tonight, they killed and kidnapped a lot of survivors. I was about to be kidnapped too but luckily Jami Palmer saw me and rescued me from Joshua who's trying to bring my body into the jungle. God knows what he would do to me. But it turns out, many are not as lucky as I was. McKayla, Kathrine, Jade & Israel Montas are among those who were kidnapped!!! That is why Koi and Uldrich are questioning Joshua who is just laughing mockingly at them. I run towards Joshua then ask him the whereabouts of the kidnapped ones for they are innocent and shouldn't be taken like that. Suddenly Joshua turns his face on me and SPITS on my face! and then he yells this harsh words with his mockingly voice "DON'T ACT LIKE AN INNOCENT ANGEL, WHORE!!! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID, IT MAKES ME SICK, I'M GOING TO TELL!!!". Those words are like a lightning which strikes me really bad! I look around, Koi, Uldrich, Anne-Marie and Keisi are looking at me curiously.....then Joshua yells the dirty laundry that I've been trying to erase from my past "I KNOW THAT YOU F*CKED YOUR BROTHER IN LAW, WHORE!!! WHAT? YOU DON'T WANT OTHERS TO FIND OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU? oohhh...PITY!!!" then he laughs mockingly. That was it, my dirty laundry has just been exposed by this b*stard, I stand there motionless, it was the time when I wish the ground beneath me would open up and swallow me into the depth of the earth. Mrs. Dunn then asks me whether he's telling the truth about me or not? I just couldn't answer that question, so I run out of the hatch....run...run...and keep running until I find a big tree and cries out loud there.....
A couple of moments later, I hear footsteps approaching me, I'm stunned...I'm afraid that it's the OTHERS who's been kidnapping survivors but it was Keisi who comes out of the bushes. I don't know what to say to her when she puts her hand on my shoulder and says that she would always support me. I hug her and cry on her shoulder. Later, she asks me to go back, 'cause Koi and Uldrich has found out where the kidnapped ones have been taken after they cut one of his toes.
Teams of the left ones are formed in order to find the kidnapped ones. It was only me, Anne-Marie, Mrs. Dunn and Ian Wylde who are left at the beach. I couldn't stand to watch if anything happens to Mrs. Dunn so I ask her to go the hatch and stay there with Raymond while Anne-Marie and I with Ian go searching for the kidnapped ones. But it turns out Ian doesn't want to go with us 'cause he's afraid that something would happen to him and he couldn't be saved by us ( two weaklings ). So Ian decided to follow Mrs. Dunn to the hatch. So it was only me and Anne-Marie who are going to the direction that Koi mentioned before. Joshua told him a couple of directions so that is why the teams are divided and each team goes to different directions. Along the way, Anne-Marie doesn't talk at all with me, I guess she feels disgusted of me. I just couldn't make a foe in this time of situation so I ask her whether she's angry with me or not. And then she yells that of course she's angry with me, 'cause we've been on the island for several weeks and we've been close friends all this time, she's told me everything about her past, and I never mentioned any single thing about my past! I was about to say my apology when we hear someone's screaming and it's McKayla's voice!!!
We run toward the source of the voice and there I see with my own eyes....a "SMOKE-LIKE CREATURE" attacks McKayla and Cindy ( The British Blonde Girl who was sitting behind Derek during the flight ). I don't know what to do, but Anne-Marie who seems pretty know on how to handle this situation, grabs McKayla's arms and the three of us run from that place, run like there's no tomorrow!!!
We're out of breath pretty soon when we hear a sobbing voice near us. The three of us look at each others before we walk toward the sobbing voice. There...we see Kathrine who's sobbing because....OH MY GODDDD!!!! the three of us are in SHOCKED as we spot the body who is left hanging by the tree, the body of ANSLEY LAMB!!! It was from Kathrine we learn the truth that Ansley was trying to get the others to let the exhausted Kathrine, Jade & Israel Montas to rest, but one of the others said that his idea of resting is to "have fun" with Ansley. The man forced himself upon Ansley, so Ansley struggled and defended her dignity until the man is sick of her and killed her by strangled her to death and hang her body by the tree!!!
Kathrine was hiding in the bush when the others are in panic once they hear a "monstrous" sound, they just take Jade & Israel without having the time to search for Kathrine. It's raining suddenly when we're trying to get Ansley's lifeless body to the ground. My stomach is not that good lately so it was Anne-Marie and McKayla who are climbing the tree to get Ansley's body down. Kathrine still keeps on sobbing, I was about to hug her, give her comfort so that she wouldn't be that devastated when we hear WHISPERS from all around us!!! We're confused and scared suddenly as we're trying to locate the source of the whispers but they seem to come from everywhere!!! That's when Kathrine's starting to panic and she screams that it's THEM...and they've returned to get her back!!! Kathrine keeps on screaming as she runs toward the bushes, I yell at her...tell her to wait for me but she just keeps on running, so I run to follow her toward the bushes. I scream out her name in the middle of the heavy rain, the whispers just become LOUDER and LOUDER when I hear a sound "DOR!"
I get panic, I scream for Kathrine's name again when I see her coming out of the bushes with BLOOD on her chest! "Si...Sitti..." it was the last word of her innocent little voice before she collapses to the ground and dies! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...........!!!!!!" I scream out loud as I see her lifeless body on the ground, then I look at the shooter with ANGER, Kathrine was shot with a SHOTGUN, how could a person did this to an innocent child like Kathrine!!! Then I saw her...I know her because people was calling her name several times back there at the airport...they call her Rihanna....yes she's one of the Oceanic 815 Passengers... Robyn Rihanna Fenty!!!
Part 3
What We All Hide
A couple of days later, the rescuing activities are done. Still no sign of Jade & Israel Montas. It turns out Robyn Rihanna Fenty is one of the survivors from the Tail Section. The tail section landed in the water at the other side of the island. They had their issues back there, they made a long journey across the island to find the other survivors since they've been attacked by the others as well the first night after the crash! Only some of them survived, the other survivors are either kidnapped or killed! That's why Robyn thought Kathrine was the Others when she heard sounds from the bushes during the "whispers" incident. Some of us could accept her reason, some of us just couldn't. And I'm one of them who couldn't accept her reason.
That is why when Robyn learned about the hatch and wanted to join my all-female team, I blew her off. But she's still trying to get inside of our circle. Anne-Marie has forgiven me about "all my past" drama, and we become even closer now and then since there are only three of us left in the team. I thought Kathrine's death would be the last death that I would witness on the island. But apparently I was wrong, the deaths on the island are FAR FROM OVER!!! In fact, it's just only a BEGINNING!!!
One day Raymond ask me out on a picnic, I don't want just to be alone with him so I ask Mrs. Dunn to accompany us too. When we're walking down the beach, I ask him who's guarding Joshua in the hatch now that he's here, he tells me that he's asked Robyn to guard him. Just when we have found the right spot for our little beach picnic, Raymond tells me that he forgot to bring the blankets. Mrs. Dunn offers to get the blankets for us, I decided to follow her since I don't want to be left alone with Raymond, let's just say that I don't really trust him.
When we have arrived at the entrance of the hatch, Mrs. Dunn tells me to wait outside for she won't be long to get the blankets, so I wait outside. I was waiting for a while when suddenly I hear a GUNSHOT from inside the hatch, I was about to enter the hatch when I hear another gunshot TWICE!!! I run inside the hatch as I hear someone is running toward me. I hide quickly behind a pillar when I see HIM! JOSHUA! holding a gun when he suddenly stops near the pillar where I'm hiding. I'm so nervous as I close my mouth so that he wouldn't hear me. It takes a while before he's gone. That's when I get out of my hiding and enter the living room in the hatch when I see another HORRIBLE view!!! Robyn was sitting in a couch with her forehead SHOT and blood splattered all over the wall and "OH NOOOOOOO......." my heart is about to stop when I see her...Mrs. Dunn lying on the floor with two gunshot wounds on her stomach and chest!!!
I thought I've lost her when she's suddenly coughing with blood coming out of her mouth. I was so happy to see that she's still alive, so I tell her to wait as I'm gonna get Dr. Mandela asap, but she holds my hand and tell me that there isn't much time, she handed me her expensive bag that she's always carrying it with her ever since the crash. I receive the handbag with a confused look. She tells me to see the content of the handbag. That's when I finally learn the TRUTH that everyone's been hiding from me my entire life!!! Inside the bag, I find birth certificate with two names....Sitti Maemunah & Siti Maimunah, a couple of old photos of me while I was a child, photos of my late father with Mrs. Dunn who was still young back then, and lots and lots of photos of me, and some letters. I look at her with tears in my eyes as she nods and she finally tells me her dirty laundry that she's been dying to hide it for her entire life. She is my BIOLOGICAL MOTHER, when she was young, she used to be a servant at my grandpa's house in Indonesia. That's when she met my father, they both fell in love and had a little "incident" resulting of her getting pregnant!!! Of course their relationship was not allowed by my grandparents. She was a servant, my father was a rich heir. She is a Christian, my father was a Muslim. They both came from different religion, social class, and culture. Then she gave birth to baby twins...yes, I have a TWIN SISTER that I never knew for my entire life! She gave one to my father ( it's me ) and she keeps my twin sister with her. Later she pursued her modelling career and became a successful Supermodel. That's when she met Mr. Dunn and they both get married. She even know about Mas Goen, because she always watched me from the distance. She knows that Mas Goen was and is the love of my life. She knows the reason behind Mas Goen's marriage with my stepsister Nadya Ramadhani. The truth is, Mas Goen was really trying to protect me. When Nadya learned the truth about me, she threatened to kill me and take all of my father's inheritance. Mas Goen doesn't want me to get hurt, so he married Nadya so that once he's the husband of Nadya, he would get all the control of my father's MONEY & POWER, those two things that he could get in order to always protect me like he always does even though he has to sacrifice himself by marrying my stepsister with whom he never loves! That is why Mr & Mrs Dunn was fighting during their holiday in Sydney once he learned the truth about his wife's past. He thinks she should tell me the whole truth, that is why he called in my hotel suite that night so that I would get the chance to meet my biological mother and he was hoping once she sees me in person, she would change her mind.
I'm SHOCKED and don't know what to say, all my life I'm sick of the people who are trying to hide the truth from me, and now when it's exposed right in front of my eyes...I'm speechless....I'm...I'm......WHAT HAVE I DONE!?
Keisi....my mother....with tears in her eyes, she asks for my forgiveness for never be there for me. I hug her while crying, I kiss her forehead and say "Mother...I FORGIVE YOU!" she smiles at me before she closes her eyes for good!
I'm just sitting there for hours....blaming myself for never had the chance to learn about my mother. I learned about her but it was too late....just when I found her...I lost her! then I'm blaming myself for never trusting the man that I always love....Mas Goen...my thoughts wander around as I remember the last time I was with Mas Goen before I took the flight to Sydney and deserted on this cursed island where I gain nothing but DEATHS of the ones I love!!!
After we were busted for making out at my sister and Mas Goen's wedding party. I'm told by my mother ( whom I thought she was ) and Nadya to never speak with Mas Goen ever!!! As a good sister, I've been avoiding Mas Goen for several months. I never returned his calls and we never speaks anymore for the last few months. It was when one night, I got a call from sister who told me that Mas Goen is MISSING!!! And he's been gone for 1 WEEK! I get panicked suddenly for I'm worried that something would happen to him. So I call and it doesn't take that long before he picks up his phone and tells me that I finally want to speak with him. I say to him that the reason I'm calling him because everyone's searching for him and it's been a week since he went missing. I ask him where he is now so that my sister could find him, but he says ONLY ME WHO COULD FIND HIM!!! The moment after he says that, I just know where he is! He must be in the old cabin deep in the forest where he and I used to spent time together after school when we were still in high school. I just go straight to the cabin from my University where I work even though I still have a class to teach, I'm just so worried that he would do something stupid that he and I would regret in the future.
When I open the door of the cabin, the smells of alcohol and cigarette are very strong and there he is...sitting by the table, drinking and smoking. When he sees me, he yells for my name as he hugs me and says how much he has missed me. I have to hold his body for he couldn't barely walk. I ask him whether he's okay or not, and it's stupid to destroy his life and health with alcohol and cigarettes. He replies that if I want him out of my life, then there's no reason for him to be on this world anymore! I feel so sad when he says it, I don't know what to do so I hold his body with my back while helping him to get to the nearby bed. Just when we're about to reach the bed, he suddenly pushes my body into the bed and press me with his body on top of me!!!
I scream out loud as he's trying to kiss me, I could smell the alcohol and cigarette in his breath. I scream out loud but nobody would hear me as we're in the middle of nowhere. I ask him to stop and try to wiggle away but he seems to enjoy every movement that I make with my body. And the more I resist him, the more he becomes aggressive as he starts to take off all of my clothes and his, and soon we're both naked already. I'm so scared so I cry as I'm lying in the bed with his naked body on top of me. He's trying to find a way inside me as I look deep into his eyes...I want to see the monster he has become. But in fact, he looks back into my eyes longingly, and all I see are those eyes belong to the man I grew up with, the man that I always love, the man who sacrificed himself to save me from the drunken driver...and just like that....I finally give in to his kiss, to his embrace, to his loving and to his....*cough* and that night he...he...he took my "innocence".
I don't know for how long I have been asleep after we've done the BIGGEST TABOO in my society...the thing that only married couples could do. I'm sobbing silently as I have lost something that night, I blame myself for what I have done to myself, to my sister....I just slept with my brother in law!!! What would she do when she finds out about this? what would the people in my society say about me that I've lost my virginity before I get married and the worst thing is...I've lost it to my brother in law!!! A lot of thoughts are running through my mind. I can't even face Mas Goen after this...he must have thought that I'm a slut that could be 'taken' easily just like that. I...I can't do this...I need to go....I NEED TO GO FROM MY LIFE...FROM MY WORLD...AWAY FROM OTHER PEOPLE!!!
I look at Mas Goen one last time, he seems so peaceful and happy. He never looked that happy for a while since I came back from my study. And even though in his sleep, he's still looked handsome as always. I touch his cheek with my hand before I sneak out of the cabin and go to my University. It's closed already so I wait in my car until morning, I hear some lecturer whisper to each others as they see me wearing the same cloth that I wore yesterday. And when I enter the office, I hear the Head of the Faculty is talking about the research on a plant called "Ensete Ventricosum" in Australia with another lecturer. That's when I volunteer myself so that I could go away from Indonesia, go away from Mas Goen, go away from my sister, go away from my society, go away from everybody...........and HERE I AM...BECAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!!!
The double deaths of Robyn Rihanna Fenty & Keisi Dunn spread quickly among the survivors thanks to Emme. They're getting worried and worried as rescue is nowhere to be seen but death always lurks in the shadow. And in the time of panic, one woman rises....one woman with future vision as she approaches us and tell these wisdom words as I quote "The thing is not what we were, the real thing is what we are & what we are planning & doing to still be alive, get saved. We all in this together, we need to fight for the same goal, drink of the same water, eat of the same food, whatever our mistakes & errors in the past are nothing compared to what we are today, are we willing to give second chances, because if we can’t do it, we are not going to survive". Lots of us are "enlightened" by those words, we finally realize that we need to work together in order to survive...LIVE TOGETHER, DIE ALONE! And from that moment on, Izzy has changed her status on the island from Everyone's Most-Hated B*tch to Everyone's Most-Favorite Witch!!!
Part 4
Lost but not Alone
Months passed, my belly is getting bigger and bigger. At first, I used to come visit my mother's grave and cries there, blame myself, how I wish that she's gonna be here with me, how I wish Mas Goen is gonna be here with me, taking care of our children together once it's born. But as time goes by...I understand that I need to learn to be more mature....I need to learn to always see everything from the positive sides. Have I not been in the plane and crashed here, I would have never learnt the truth about my biological mother and Mas Goen's sacrifice. Now I understand the meaning of "EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON"
Izzy is now being in charge of the spiritual service at the beach, so that we would never lose hope, 'cause hope is the last thing we have left on the island. And her topic for today is "WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER DOOR OPENS". I understand now more than ever...I've lost Kathrine and Ansley from my team, but now I have lots of new friends especially from the middle & tail section in my team. There are : Elizabeth Moira Duncan, an Australian teen, who was in the plane 'cause her father wanted her to stay with him until college begins. She was in the middle section during the flight, we've met before when I arrived at the beach for the first time but weren't that close back then. Serena Carter, an American freelance designer who was designing something in Australia. Lydia Tarigan and Meilani Kumaladewi, two Indonesian students who's studying Business in Sydney. Sho Kazunoki, a Japanese student and Mohinder Pahlevi, an Indian student. 4 of them are classmates and they decided to have a holiday together in Los Angeles. Then Enrique Diaz, a Mexican Porn Star. And last but not least my 2 best friends Anne-Marie & McKayla who are with me ever since the crash. I'm grateful and blessed to have these new friends with me...'cause right now I know well my condition, I am LOST BUT NOT ALONE!
L O S T
The Hatch Continued...
"When you're alone
And life is making you lonely
you can always go down town.
When you got worries,
All the noise and the hurry
seems to help,
I know down town.
Just listen to the music
Of the traffic in the city,
linger on the sidewalks
Where the neon signs are pretty.
How can you lose?
The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles,
Forget all your cares.
So go down town.
Things'll be great
When you're down town.
No finer place for sure-
Down town.
Everything's waiting for you
Down town...down town...."
The song is being played as I regain my consciousness slowly but sure. It's all blurred out at first, then I could see things clearly...the lamp at the ceiling, an old television in front of me, electricity.....suddenly I wake up as I realize where was I the last time before I passed out. I'm panic as I realize that both my hands are tied up behind me, I look around there they are...my friends Anne-Marie, McKayla and Ansley, all tied up like I am right now. As for Kathrine, she's still unconscious not that far away from me. I feel bad for her, she doesn't have to experience all these things. A girl of her age should be at home study or play around instead of deserted on an unknown island! I study the room carefully then I notice a couple of things that exist besides electricity. There are food, water, medical supplies and gun!!! I should have known that nothing good comes from a gun, and I didn't know back then that I have to learn it the hard way! Suddenly I heard footsteps approaching us, then I look at that man, a muscular one, he must be the one who has taken us captives. I thought he was gonna do something bad to me, but it turns out he greets me by calling me "Exotic Lady". I ask him immediately for his identity, what he was doing down here in a bunker or something, and what the heck is this place. I kinda expect that he would say that he's trying to cover the "truth" from me but it turns out he explains EVERYTHING about who he is, what is this place and what he is doing down here for all this time. His name is Raymond Hume, he was a British Soldier before he was recruited by this mysterious organization called "Dharma Initiative". And the rest of his explanation is blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...I don't pay attention anymore as my eyes are admiring this "cool" place. Under different circumstances, I would love for this kind of discovery but being tied up like this it's not a fun experience. I ask him to untie us, and he just does that as long as we behave like decent ladies. He can't take his eyes off me while untying us, it looks like he's impressed with my "exotic" skin, and being all alone down here by himself, I wouldn't be surprised that he'd be interested for a company, too bad my heart is taken and I don't find him that attractive. A couple of moments later, Kathrine who woke up already asks Raymond to share his food & water with her innocent look. And the unexpected happens, Raymond decided to share all his supplies down here with us and the other survivors at the beach, and in exchange, he would love for us to come visit him once in a while so that he wouldn't be bored and lonely anymore. That's a deal I guess since it doesn't take more than a second for Kathrine when she starts to grab all the foods and drinks.
Things was pretty hectic at first as we showed up at the beach with all the foods, drinks and medical supplies. Questions started to attack us from all directions, lucky for us, Anne-Marie is pretty good playing with words or should I say "lying". I guess there's the reason why we chose her to be the leader of our team, since she has that leadership ability inside her. I set up a dining table which Anne-Marie built for us before, and we started to have dinner together. I even invite Mrs. Dunn, Charlie Vargas and Emme Parison to our table, Mrs. Dunn has always being so kind to me, and she's like this mother figure for me on the island. Emme is the fun type of girl, with her around you, you wouldn't miss any single gossip among the survivors. And for Charlie...she helps me a lot lately with the "morning sickness" that I have. We talk about a lot of stuff, from girl stuff like first crush, first kiss and first "woohoo" but I try to remain silent all the time when it gets personal for I don't want the others to find out the "truth" about me, that I'm not what I seem to be. Kathrine always calling me as "Angel from the Sky"....if only she knew the "truth" about me...about what I have done before the crash, she might not call me by that nickname anymore. And then our conversation goes to our plan of being saved or out of this island. Ansley suggests that we should use a lot stones and make "S.O.S" sign on the beach so that the rescuers might see us from above. Then McKayla came up with this brilliant idea...building a raft. And Anne-Marie tells us that she's the one who's going to build it for us. It was a fun dinner...but I would have never known that it would be our LAST DINNER together...........for later 2 good friends of mine in my team will be "LOST" forever!!!
Part 2
The Others
The other night, I was sleeping in my tent when I heard screams, shouts and fightings from all around the beach. And suddenly there's a hand covering my mouth, I open my eyes and there he is....Joshua Santos!!! The PhD student, he tries to drag me out of my tent. I scream but his hand was covering my mouth, I kick his balls, he shouts then he slaps me hard TWICE until my lips are bleeding. Then I see fire.....and dead corpses everywhere....I don't know what is happening, I just want to see familiar faces so I decided to run but Joshua hits my temple from behind, and that was the last thing I remember before I passed out.
Slowly, I regain my conscious ( again! I don't how many times have I been unconscious since the crash ) as I hear the voices of Koi and Uldrich who are questioning Joshua about the whereabouts of the kidnapped ones. I was sleeping on Mrs. Dunn's thighs, I feel ashamed, I'm afraid that I'm such a big burden for her here on the island, but she doesn't seem mind with me being a burden to her. Sometimes I wish that I had a mother like Mrs. Dunn but that would be impossible. Then I see Anne-Marie, thanks God she's okay but she doesn't seem that happy. Later I find out the horrible news that the people whom they call as "The Others" attacked us tonight, they killed and kidnapped a lot of survivors. I was about to be kidnapped too but luckily Jami Palmer saw me and rescued me from Joshua who's trying to bring my body into the jungle. God knows what he would do to me. But it turns out, many are not as lucky as I was. McKayla, Kathrine, Jade & Israel Montas are among those who were kidnapped!!! That is why Koi and Uldrich are questioning Joshua who is just laughing mockingly at them. I run towards Joshua then ask him the whereabouts of the kidnapped ones for they are innocent and shouldn't be taken like that. Suddenly Joshua turns his face on me and SPITS on my face! and then he yells this harsh words with his mockingly voice "DON'T ACT LIKE AN INNOCENT ANGEL, WHORE!!! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID, IT MAKES ME SICK, I'M GOING TO TELL!!!". Those words are like a lightning which strikes me really bad! I look around, Koi, Uldrich, Anne-Marie and Keisi are looking at me curiously.....then Joshua yells the dirty laundry that I've been trying to erase from my past "I KNOW THAT YOU F*CKED YOUR BROTHER IN LAW, WHORE!!! WHAT? YOU DON'T WANT OTHERS TO FIND OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU? oohhh...PITY!!!" then he laughs mockingly. That was it, my dirty laundry has just been exposed by this b*stard, I stand there motionless, it was the time when I wish the ground beneath me would open up and swallow me into the depth of the earth. Mrs. Dunn then asks me whether he's telling the truth about me or not? I just couldn't answer that question, so I run out of the hatch....run...run...and keep running until I find a big tree and cries out loud there.....
A couple of moments later, I hear footsteps approaching me, I'm stunned...I'm afraid that it's the OTHERS who's been kidnapping survivors but it was Keisi who comes out of the bushes. I don't know what to say to her when she puts her hand on my shoulder and says that she would always support me. I hug her and cry on her shoulder. Later, she asks me to go back, 'cause Koi and Uldrich has found out where the kidnapped ones have been taken after they cut one of his toes.
Teams of the left ones are formed in order to find the kidnapped ones. It was only me, Anne-Marie, Mrs. Dunn and Ian Wylde who are left at the beach. I couldn't stand to watch if anything happens to Mrs. Dunn so I ask her to go the hatch and stay there with Raymond while Anne-Marie and I with Ian go searching for the kidnapped ones. But it turns out Ian doesn't want to go with us 'cause he's afraid that something would happen to him and he couldn't be saved by us ( two weaklings ). So Ian decided to follow Mrs. Dunn to the hatch. So it was only me and Anne-Marie who are going to the direction that Koi mentioned before. Joshua told him a couple of directions so that is why the teams are divided and each team goes to different directions. Along the way, Anne-Marie doesn't talk at all with me, I guess she feels disgusted of me. I just couldn't make a foe in this time of situation so I ask her whether she's angry with me or not. And then she yells that of course she's angry with me, 'cause we've been on the island for several weeks and we've been close friends all this time, she's told me everything about her past, and I never mentioned any single thing about my past! I was about to say my apology when we hear someone's screaming and it's McKayla's voice!!!
We run toward the source of the voice and there I see with my own eyes....a "SMOKE-LIKE CREATURE" attacks McKayla and Cindy ( The British Blonde Girl who was sitting behind Derek during the flight ). I don't know what to do, but Anne-Marie who seems pretty know on how to handle this situation, grabs McKayla's arms and the three of us run from that place, run like there's no tomorrow!!!
We're out of breath pretty soon when we hear a sobbing voice near us. The three of us look at each others before we walk toward the sobbing voice. There...we see Kathrine who's sobbing because....OH MY GODDDD!!!! the three of us are in SHOCKED as we spot the body who is left hanging by the tree, the body of ANSLEY LAMB!!! It was from Kathrine we learn the truth that Ansley was trying to get the others to let the exhausted Kathrine, Jade & Israel Montas to rest, but one of the others said that his idea of resting is to "have fun" with Ansley. The man forced himself upon Ansley, so Ansley struggled and defended her dignity until the man is sick of her and killed her by strangled her to death and hang her body by the tree!!!
Kathrine was hiding in the bush when the others are in panic once they hear a "monstrous" sound, they just take Jade & Israel without having the time to search for Kathrine. It's raining suddenly when we're trying to get Ansley's lifeless body to the ground. My stomach is not that good lately so it was Anne-Marie and McKayla who are climbing the tree to get Ansley's body down. Kathrine still keeps on sobbing, I was about to hug her, give her comfort so that she wouldn't be that devastated when we hear WHISPERS from all around us!!! We're confused and scared suddenly as we're trying to locate the source of the whispers but they seem to come from everywhere!!! That's when Kathrine's starting to panic and she screams that it's THEM...and they've returned to get her back!!! Kathrine keeps on screaming as she runs toward the bushes, I yell at her...tell her to wait for me but she just keeps on running, so I run to follow her toward the bushes. I scream out her name in the middle of the heavy rain, the whispers just become LOUDER and LOUDER when I hear a sound "DOR!"
I get panic, I scream for Kathrine's name again when I see her coming out of the bushes with BLOOD on her chest! "Si...Sitti..." it was the last word of her innocent little voice before she collapses to the ground and dies! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...........!!!!!!" I scream out loud as I see her lifeless body on the ground, then I look at the shooter with ANGER, Kathrine was shot with a SHOTGUN, how could a person did this to an innocent child like Kathrine!!! Then I saw her...I know her because people was calling her name several times back there at the airport...they call her Rihanna....yes she's one of the Oceanic 815 Passengers... Robyn Rihanna Fenty!!!
Part 3
What We All Hide
A couple of days later, the rescuing activities are done. Still no sign of Jade & Israel Montas. It turns out Robyn Rihanna Fenty is one of the survivors from the Tail Section. The tail section landed in the water at the other side of the island. They had their issues back there, they made a long journey across the island to find the other survivors since they've been attacked by the others as well the first night after the crash! Only some of them survived, the other survivors are either kidnapped or killed! That's why Robyn thought Kathrine was the Others when she heard sounds from the bushes during the "whispers" incident. Some of us could accept her reason, some of us just couldn't. And I'm one of them who couldn't accept her reason.
That is why when Robyn learned about the hatch and wanted to join my all-female team, I blew her off. But she's still trying to get inside of our circle. Anne-Marie has forgiven me about "all my past" drama, and we become even closer now and then since there are only three of us left in the team. I thought Kathrine's death would be the last death that I would witness on the island. But apparently I was wrong, the deaths on the island are FAR FROM OVER!!! In fact, it's just only a BEGINNING!!!
One day Raymond ask me out on a picnic, I don't want just to be alone with him so I ask Mrs. Dunn to accompany us too. When we're walking down the beach, I ask him who's guarding Joshua in the hatch now that he's here, he tells me that he's asked Robyn to guard him. Just when we have found the right spot for our little beach picnic, Raymond tells me that he forgot to bring the blankets. Mrs. Dunn offers to get the blankets for us, I decided to follow her since I don't want to be left alone with Raymond, let's just say that I don't really trust him.
When we have arrived at the entrance of the hatch, Mrs. Dunn tells me to wait outside for she won't be long to get the blankets, so I wait outside. I was waiting for a while when suddenly I hear a GUNSHOT from inside the hatch, I was about to enter the hatch when I hear another gunshot TWICE!!! I run inside the hatch as I hear someone is running toward me. I hide quickly behind a pillar when I see HIM! JOSHUA! holding a gun when he suddenly stops near the pillar where I'm hiding. I'm so nervous as I close my mouth so that he wouldn't hear me. It takes a while before he's gone. That's when I get out of my hiding and enter the living room in the hatch when I see another HORRIBLE view!!! Robyn was sitting in a couch with her forehead SHOT and blood splattered all over the wall and "OH NOOOOOOO......." my heart is about to stop when I see her...Mrs. Dunn lying on the floor with two gunshot wounds on her stomach and chest!!!
I thought I've lost her when she's suddenly coughing with blood coming out of her mouth. I was so happy to see that she's still alive, so I tell her to wait as I'm gonna get Dr. Mandela asap, but she holds my hand and tell me that there isn't much time, she handed me her expensive bag that she's always carrying it with her ever since the crash. I receive the handbag with a confused look. She tells me to see the content of the handbag. That's when I finally learn the TRUTH that everyone's been hiding from me my entire life!!! Inside the bag, I find birth certificate with two names....Sitti Maemunah & Siti Maimunah, a couple of old photos of me while I was a child, photos of my late father with Mrs. Dunn who was still young back then, and lots and lots of photos of me, and some letters. I look at her with tears in my eyes as she nods and she finally tells me her dirty laundry that she's been dying to hide it for her entire life. She is my BIOLOGICAL MOTHER, when she was young, she used to be a servant at my grandpa's house in Indonesia. That's when she met my father, they both fell in love and had a little "incident" resulting of her getting pregnant!!! Of course their relationship was not allowed by my grandparents. She was a servant, my father was a rich heir. She is a Christian, my father was a Muslim. They both came from different religion, social class, and culture. Then she gave birth to baby twins...yes, I have a TWIN SISTER that I never knew for my entire life! She gave one to my father ( it's me ) and she keeps my twin sister with her. Later she pursued her modelling career and became a successful Supermodel. That's when she met Mr. Dunn and they both get married. She even know about Mas Goen, because she always watched me from the distance. She knows that Mas Goen was and is the love of my life. She knows the reason behind Mas Goen's marriage with my stepsister Nadya Ramadhani. The truth is, Mas Goen was really trying to protect me. When Nadya learned the truth about me, she threatened to kill me and take all of my father's inheritance. Mas Goen doesn't want me to get hurt, so he married Nadya so that once he's the husband of Nadya, he would get all the control of my father's MONEY & POWER, those two things that he could get in order to always protect me like he always does even though he has to sacrifice himself by marrying my stepsister with whom he never loves! That is why Mr & Mrs Dunn was fighting during their holiday in Sydney once he learned the truth about his wife's past. He thinks she should tell me the whole truth, that is why he called in my hotel suite that night so that I would get the chance to meet my biological mother and he was hoping once she sees me in person, she would change her mind.
I'm SHOCKED and don't know what to say, all my life I'm sick of the people who are trying to hide the truth from me, and now when it's exposed right in front of my eyes...I'm speechless....I'm...I'm......WHAT HAVE I DONE!?
Keisi....my mother....with tears in her eyes, she asks for my forgiveness for never be there for me. I hug her while crying, I kiss her forehead and say "Mother...I FORGIVE YOU!" she smiles at me before she closes her eyes for good!
I'm just sitting there for hours....blaming myself for never had the chance to learn about my mother. I learned about her but it was too late....just when I found her...I lost her! then I'm blaming myself for never trusting the man that I always love....Mas Goen...my thoughts wander around as I remember the last time I was with Mas Goen before I took the flight to Sydney and deserted on this cursed island where I gain nothing but DEATHS of the ones I love!!!
After we were busted for making out at my sister and Mas Goen's wedding party. I'm told by my mother ( whom I thought she was ) and Nadya to never speak with Mas Goen ever!!! As a good sister, I've been avoiding Mas Goen for several months. I never returned his calls and we never speaks anymore for the last few months. It was when one night, I got a call from sister who told me that Mas Goen is MISSING!!! And he's been gone for 1 WEEK! I get panicked suddenly for I'm worried that something would happen to him. So I call and it doesn't take that long before he picks up his phone and tells me that I finally want to speak with him. I say to him that the reason I'm calling him because everyone's searching for him and it's been a week since he went missing. I ask him where he is now so that my sister could find him, but he says ONLY ME WHO COULD FIND HIM!!! The moment after he says that, I just know where he is! He must be in the old cabin deep in the forest where he and I used to spent time together after school when we were still in high school. I just go straight to the cabin from my University where I work even though I still have a class to teach, I'm just so worried that he would do something stupid that he and I would regret in the future.
When I open the door of the cabin, the smells of alcohol and cigarette are very strong and there he is...sitting by the table, drinking and smoking. When he sees me, he yells for my name as he hugs me and says how much he has missed me. I have to hold his body for he couldn't barely walk. I ask him whether he's okay or not, and it's stupid to destroy his life and health with alcohol and cigarettes. He replies that if I want him out of my life, then there's no reason for him to be on this world anymore! I feel so sad when he says it, I don't know what to do so I hold his body with my back while helping him to get to the nearby bed. Just when we're about to reach the bed, he suddenly pushes my body into the bed and press me with his body on top of me!!!
I scream out loud as he's trying to kiss me, I could smell the alcohol and cigarette in his breath. I scream out loud but nobody would hear me as we're in the middle of nowhere. I ask him to stop and try to wiggle away but he seems to enjoy every movement that I make with my body. And the more I resist him, the more he becomes aggressive as he starts to take off all of my clothes and his, and soon we're both naked already. I'm so scared so I cry as I'm lying in the bed with his naked body on top of me. He's trying to find a way inside me as I look deep into his eyes...I want to see the monster he has become. But in fact, he looks back into my eyes longingly, and all I see are those eyes belong to the man I grew up with, the man that I always love, the man who sacrificed himself to save me from the drunken driver...and just like that....I finally give in to his kiss, to his embrace, to his loving and to his....*cough* and that night he...he...he took my "innocence".
I don't know for how long I have been asleep after we've done the BIGGEST TABOO in my society...the thing that only married couples could do. I'm sobbing silently as I have lost something that night, I blame myself for what I have done to myself, to my sister....I just slept with my brother in law!!! What would she do when she finds out about this? what would the people in my society say about me that I've lost my virginity before I get married and the worst thing is...I've lost it to my brother in law!!! A lot of thoughts are running through my mind. I can't even face Mas Goen after this...he must have thought that I'm a slut that could be 'taken' easily just like that. I...I can't do this...I need to go....I NEED TO GO FROM MY LIFE...FROM MY WORLD...AWAY FROM OTHER PEOPLE!!!
I look at Mas Goen one last time, he seems so peaceful and happy. He never looked that happy for a while since I came back from my study. And even though in his sleep, he's still looked handsome as always. I touch his cheek with my hand before I sneak out of the cabin and go to my University. It's closed already so I wait in my car until morning, I hear some lecturer whisper to each others as they see me wearing the same cloth that I wore yesterday. And when I enter the office, I hear the Head of the Faculty is talking about the research on a plant called "Ensete Ventricosum" in Australia with another lecturer. That's when I volunteer myself so that I could go away from Indonesia, go away from Mas Goen, go away from my sister, go away from my society, go away from everybody...........and HERE I AM...BECAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!!!
The double deaths of Robyn Rihanna Fenty & Keisi Dunn spread quickly among the survivors thanks to Emme. They're getting worried and worried as rescue is nowhere to be seen but death always lurks in the shadow. And in the time of panic, one woman rises....one woman with future vision as she approaches us and tell these wisdom words as I quote "The thing is not what we were, the real thing is what we are & what we are planning & doing to still be alive, get saved. We all in this together, we need to fight for the same goal, drink of the same water, eat of the same food, whatever our mistakes & errors in the past are nothing compared to what we are today, are we willing to give second chances, because if we can’t do it, we are not going to survive". Lots of us are "enlightened" by those words, we finally realize that we need to work together in order to survive...LIVE TOGETHER, DIE ALONE! And from that moment on, Izzy has changed her status on the island from Everyone's Most-Hated B*tch to Everyone's Most-Favorite Witch!!!
Part 4
Lost but not Alone
Months passed, my belly is getting bigger and bigger. At first, I used to come visit my mother's grave and cries there, blame myself, how I wish that she's gonna be here with me, how I wish Mas Goen is gonna be here with me, taking care of our children together once it's born. But as time goes by...I understand that I need to learn to be more mature....I need to learn to always see everything from the positive sides. Have I not been in the plane and crashed here, I would have never learnt the truth about my biological mother and Mas Goen's sacrifice. Now I understand the meaning of "EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON"
Izzy is now being in charge of the spiritual service at the beach, so that we would never lose hope, 'cause hope is the last thing we have left on the island. And her topic for today is "WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER DOOR OPENS". I understand now more than ever...I've lost Kathrine and Ansley from my team, but now I have lots of new friends especially from the middle & tail section in my team. There are : Elizabeth Moira Duncan, an Australian teen, who was in the plane 'cause her father wanted her to stay with him until college begins. She was in the middle section during the flight, we've met before when I arrived at the beach for the first time but weren't that close back then. Serena Carter, an American freelance designer who was designing something in Australia. Lydia Tarigan and Meilani Kumaladewi, two Indonesian students who's studying Business in Sydney. Sho Kazunoki, a Japanese student and Mohinder Pahlevi, an Indian student. 4 of them are classmates and they decided to have a holiday together in Los Angeles. Then Enrique Diaz, a Mexican Porn Star. And last but not least my 2 best friends Anne-Marie & McKayla who are with me ever since the crash. I'm grateful and blessed to have these new friends with me...'cause right now I know well my condition, I am LOST BUT NOT ALONE!
L O S T
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